Up Too Early

Maybe I’m up too early,
Not really awake yet.
Slowly crawled out of bed,
Drifted about the house,
Pissed in the trash can
Before I realized it.  Fool.
Wondered who that was
In the bathroom mirror,
Put a dab of toothpaste
On my razor and stopped
Short of shaving my teeth.
Good stuff, the edges of
My beard will be just a
Little “whiter and brighter”,
So say the toothpaste ads.
Morning meds.  Take them.
Maybe the night dose, too.
God knows you need them.
Was there someone here?
Did I have a wife?  Well,
Whatever, she’s gone now.
Really good party last night.
A proper bachelor party,
Women, booze, women.
I better get back to bed.
I need my rest before I do
The wedding tonight.  Oh,
The life of a preacher man.