St. Patrick’s Day

A wave of gloom and terror
Quickly passed throughout
The land of the Leprechaun
When it was whispered
That, on this St. Patrick’s Day,
Santa was coming to town.
Everyone has heard that
He favors the little ones.
Rumor has it that he can
Savagely devour thirty elves
In one sitting.  Yum.



Home Security

Thefts in the neighborhood.
Must secure house from robbers.
All the locks have been changed.
Shotguns rigged up at doors with
Trip wires carefully tied to triggers.
Vicious dog, suspected of rabies,
Brought home from the pound
And beaten over and over to
Ensure his raw savageness. Now,
If I can only get in my house.