Oh, Lord, Hear Me

Oh, Lord, hear me, for I am a sinner.
I am a greedy bastard full of want.
There is no end to all that I covet.
I am a  lazy slothful creature heartily
Inclined to gluttony gorging myself
With delectable delights 24/7.
The bar has become my man cave
And strong whiskey my elixir of life.
I am vain and boastful of the wrath
I have inflicted upon mine enemies.
Yea, Lord, I am, indeed, a fornicator
Par excellent.  I have buried my bone
Most freely.  I have paid the guilders
For poontang and couched with
The wives of men, and some women.
Truly, I am a sinful man and yet,
Come to think of it, most proud of it.
Hell, Lord, I've had some great times,
Fantastically great times.  So, say, um.
Ignore this confession for right now.
I've got more sinnin' to do.  Thanx.