Only In America

Poor man, he works his situation to his benefit.
Walks to the highway with a cardboard sign:
NO CAR, TWO KIDS, TWO HUNGRY CATS,
GOT NO FOOD, GOT NO JOB.  PLEASE HELP.
Not a lie.  The Mercedes in the shop for an oil change.
His two kids are full grown with families of their own,
Neither one lives with him and both have good jobs.
He doesn't have any food.  He just pigged at Applebee's.
He retired last month with a pension and Social Security.
The only car that stopped to help him took his sign,
Robbed him of his shoes and followed him home.
They took his cats to make immigrant stew.