The Moustache

The gentlemen's fixation
With the classically stylish
And suave arrangement of
Facial hair was but vanity.
The handlebar represents
The epitome of refinement
Of the most masculine gents.
The mustache wax always
Selected with great care, 
Using just the right amount
Lest, after dining at the Y,
The lady's pubic hair can
Be left particularly stiff.
  

The Neighbor's Dog

The neighbor's dog
Woke me up today.
It's not all that bad.
I sleep till past noon.
In fact, the beast's
Barking and snarling,
Along with the screams
From pain and frantic
Calls pleading for help,
Made me smile and
Laugh.  God knows,
I hate our mailman.