The Secret

I knew she would find out,
Can't keep it hidden forever.
The fact is, I'm a primate.
My parents were primates,
My siblings are primates,
My son's a primate,
My best friend is a primate.
That's just the way it is.
I'm registered with the vet.
I'm up to date with my shots.
I've got the sign in my yard.
I guess she's got a problem
With primates. So, I'm takin'
My bananas and going home.
If anybody comes by my cage, 
I'll throw some turds at them.  
I'm a primate.



Drawing a Blank

Nothing like drawing a blank.
Sit down to write, nothing comes.
I used to ramble on endlessly,
Important stuff, frivolous shit,
Just a natural manufacturer of a
Never ending wealth of words.
Maybe I've already said all that
I have to (or ever will) say or to
Write with a pen or fat crayon.
It's like the end of a long line.
I could throw myself in the bear pit
At the zoo.  But they fine you even
If the bears tear you apart.  So, best
Jump in with the wallet and change.
Maybe end up bored enough to go
Out and get a job.  No, that's crazy.
I got more coming in now than when
I was workin' with the nut cases at
The asylum.  Colorful chaps.  Friendly.
They'd kill ya for fun, nothing personal.
The height of my day is checking what
The mailmen brings me.  'Bills' I don't
Mind.  It's the proper 'Williams' that
Eat at my bank account.  Actually,
It's time to return to the bar.  I've been
Absent too long.  Hopefully, my favorite
Bar stool is still available.  Really, I'm
More concerned with my spot on the
Floor that I usually ended up on at the
End of the night.