Terms of My Surrender

 
I am not ready to leave this world yet,
   but just in case, I need to get my terms agreed.

First, I’m a little claustrophobic,
    so no tight spaces please.

And just in case there is a hell,
    I don’t want to be on that list.
I always tried to be nice to people
    and that should count for something.

And if I make it to the pearly gates,
    I don’t want to be pulled out of the line on a technicality.

And if there is a do over of my current life, some kind of Buddhist thing,
    that’s okay as long as I can remember the mistakes I made in this one.
Maybe I stay at home next time and marry my high school girl friend
    instead of going to Woodstock and taking LSD.

And I wonder, can I stay in touch with some of the people in hell?
     Most of my best friends will probably be there.

These are my terms,
     hope I am not asking for too much.
Like Crazy Horse, I will surrender peacefully,
     but please don’t fuck with me.