Catfish McDaris

The Margarita Machine

Quick moved in with a
beautiful woman, she
screamed and bitched
about the movers losing
her margarita machine

Two weeks later when she
found it, she swore the
movers had broken in
and returned it, Quick

Loved her crazy ass, but
got no peace to write, one
night while working on a
poem, she read what he had

(Burroughs cut off his left
pinky at 25, Hitler lost a
testicle in WW1 and farted
so much he got his ass
kicked by his own side)

That sucks she said, that’s
not like any birthday card
I’ve received, Quick packed
his duffel bag and split.

 

 

Felony Littering

One night he came back for
his bowling ball, at Margarita
Mama’s, he finished a burger,
fries, and a milk shake

The burger bag fell onto her
lawn, she kept Quick waiting
on his ball until, the cops she
called arrived, she insisted he

Be arrested for felony littering,
Quick said the bag wasn’t his,
one of the cops offered to throw
away the bag, but she wanted

It to be checked for Quick’s DNA,
they refused, she tore the bag
out of the cop’s hand and started
looking for a receipt, she

Slammed the front door on all three
men, then jumped in her car and
raced to three nearby hamburger joints
she wanted the workers to pick out

Quick’s photo from her cell phone
as a customer or to examine their
security tapes, when the management
refused she started screaming bloody
murder, they called the police

Unlucky for her the same two
cops arrived, they decided her
bullshit had gone on long enough,
they gave her an electricity cocktail.

 

 

Faster Than Sound

Quick’s lady friend Debra Pickleliquor
enjoyed a glass of whiskey or port, so
he went to buy her some ignorant oil
and milk for his cat and hamburger

He had onions, garlic, and rye bread,
when he exited the store it sounded like
a plane was diving from the sky, then
it felt like Thor’s hammer hitting earth

Quick turned the corner and saw the
flying machine in flames jutting out the
window of his flop house, he’d miss Ms.
Pickleliquor, her name suited her well

Jimi, Quick’s best friend a black cat
was singed but survived, he poured
milk for Jimi and drank some vino,
they slept until the rain came down.

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