Last Night
by Daniel S. Irwin

Last night,
I wrote the greatest
Poem ever written.
Last night,
I suddenly woke with it
Clear in my head.
Last night,
I was inspired
By this voluptuous Venus
In my bed.
This morning,
Venus seems more
A homely beast.
This morning,
My poem reads
Like crap.
By noon,
It’s deleted
And Venus is gone.
Tonight,
Like a fool,
I’ll probably
Do it all again.

Heaven on Earth
by Daniel S. Irwin

I was a nineteen year old
With 200 bucks in my pocket
And a dick so hard
The Viagra people would love
To use it in a misleading advertisement.
And there in Amsterdam,
Heaven on Earth.
The windows along the canals
Were filled with luscious women
In greater variety than
Forrest’s mama’s box of chocolates.
Up all night, the sampling
Was exquisitely extensive.
A lot of guys brag that they’ve
Never ‘paid for it’ in their life.
That’s fine, but as it saw it,
I wasn’t paying for pussy,
I was hiring a professional.