Ian Copestick

   A Bad Juggler

I know there’s
something wrong
with me, but I
don’t know what.
All I know is that
I’m losing touch
with more and
more of my
emotions every
single day. It
scares me, but
what can I do ?
What could I
even say ? Who
the Hell would I
say it to anyway ?
I’m falling out with
my family, my wife.
It feels like I’m losing
control of my life.
I’ve known only
too well the pain
of depression, but
it doesn’t feel like
that, to me. I’ve
tried self-diagnosis,
but my suggestions
are way off, as far
as I can see. Drink
or drugs can’t be
the reason I’m losing
my compassion, and
empathy. Maybe in
the past, but those
days have passed,
now they don’t really
affect me.
Whatever it is, I’m
struggling, I’m starting
to dislike myself.
My pain, my emotions
I’m juggling, I’m
dropping the balls,
it’s not good for my
health.

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