Judge Santiago Burdon


Nice guy 37
he’s definitely your type.
He likes music, dancing
he’s every girl’s white knight.
Gets out of the shower to pee
Doesn’t fart under the sheets
My mom even likes him
and she hates everyone
including me
He’s funny and sensitive
cries at the movies
Doesn’t smoke marijuana or drink beer
When he burps says excuse me
Never has bad breath
Muscular body not overweight
A talented cook and
always on time for a date
Remembers birthdays anniversaries
and smells baby’s heads
Rather than watch sports on Sunday
He goes antiquing instead
Never in between jobs
always has money
Educated, reads books
thinks the three Stooges are funny
When he goes to the store
gets everything on the list
peace sign tattoo
he’s a pacifist
A Liberal in his thinking
Democrat when he speaks
Republican with finance
Always puts down the toilet seat
Likes cats and children
Gets excited when it snows
Has a clear complexion
sometimes picks his nose
Seldom gets angry, curses or yells
When he goes to the beach
he collects seashells
Asks how your day was
And listens to your problems
When listening to music
Doesn’t turn up the volume
You two were made for one another
Hand in glove fit
there’s only one problem
The guy I’m describing
doesn’t exist.

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