Another Day in Paradise If Jesus lived now his mug shot would be on the AP wire as the face of the man who attempted to throw a live alligator into a crowded bar in Florida. He’d have done something criminal on the tail end of a three-day binge like driving a stolen car into a line of charity bike racers, taking out bystanders, competitors and a utility pole then, undeterred, backing up for another go around despite a steaming, leaking radiator, detached bumpers and caved in windshield. Deployed air bags don’t count. His stained t-shirt would have an AK 47 decal, a slogan like “My rights doesn’t end where your emotions begin.” In his next life he would be a Shotgun Judas with a sawed off, infiltrating a political rally, church fundraising event, for the homeless. His chest tattoo of a screaming eagle with a US flag decal in its beak is where the service revolver bullets go.