John Tustin

JENNIFER

 

Jennifer wants the world to live by the rules she has provided.

Jennifer doesn’t like to be called Jenny.

Jennifer doesn’t want to hate me but she does even though she loves me, too.

Jennifer doesn’t understand The Beatles, The Stones, Bob Dylan. She doesn’t want to.

Jennifer wants the world to be good and doesn’t see that when I argue I give her her own words back to her.

Jennifer is so sad and so beautiful I could weep.

 

I imagine that she masturbates thinking about the good and bad things about me.

If Jennifer and I were children together we would be sitting in a tree and kissing.

We are not children and we have lived already so all we do is fight.

Jennifer inside herself is a child who has witnessed war and I am a lot like her.

 

Jennifer kisses ghosts. Jennifer embraces barbed wire.

Jennifer wraps her legs around fantasies and listens intently through the wall.

Jennifer gags on the thought of being conquered with tears in her eyes and likes it.

Jennifer’s eyes were meant to be admired.

Jennifer was meant to be used in the most loving way imaginable.

Jennifer’s lips were meant to be kissed.

Jennifer’s body is scarred with a life of decisions.

Jennifer’s heart is a sieve.

Jennifer doesn’t want to make decisions anymore.

 

Jennifer makes me feel upside down.

Jennifer makes me think things at night when I’m alone.

I want Jennifer and she wants me but

Neither of us can be had. It’s not that easy.  

I only want Jennifer to love me

 

But I also understand. 

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