Twitter War

 
I created
a Twitter acct.
in 2023 –
late to
the game
at the request
of my
new publisher
for
marketing purposes.
I’d been trying
to put it
off
for as
long as
I could
but my publisher
was a good egg
and I didn’t
want to
make him
regret
taking me on.
My first tweet
received
mounds
of backlash
from the
writing community.
My wife and I
had just had
a newborn
so I posted
a picture
with the caption:
feels almost
as good
as holding
your own
birthed book. 
The writing community
lost it.
They had
never failed
more
to see humor.
This is despicable,
one “poet”
wrote.
Your poetry
is despicable, sir.
What a lousy joke!
another novelist
asserted.
Your prose
is so lousy
it puts me
to sleep!
I couldn’t
respond
to everyone
I wanted
to.
It would’ve
taken
forever.
Instead,
I doubled down
with a
follow-up
tweet:
Holding
your own book
is better,
I’ve decided!