to change the course


i often find myself

depressed as i reflect

on my life


there seems there

is nothing i can do

to change the course

of this roller coaster

is on as it seems it is

only picking up steam

as i get older


i'm certain that means

nothing good


as i watch countless

old friends succumb

to this mortal world


i guess the best part

of being a loner is

i can suffer alone


and not bring someone

down with me


sure, a loving hand

along the way would

be great


usually, that hand

is waving goodbye


you hear no enough


you get the point
-----------------------------------------------------------------
a sense of calm


one of those nights

you look at the bottle

of lotion and think

why bother


these are the years

you should have

become a monk


lived in the mountains


attained a sense of

calm while on the

edge of death


can't exactly find that

in the suburbs unless

the heroin is cut with

something exciting


rinse and repeat


each day it seems

the circle is closing

but not nearly fast

enough


there's this woman

on the east coast

that swears she

loves me


i remind her all

the time i'll be

dead way sooner

than she will


she might want to

get here faster than

she was planning