Beam Me Up Scotty

It's really weird,
I decided to treat
myself today, so
I bought myself
a bottle of Jim 
Beam. I'm about
three quarters of
the way down it,
but I feel kind of
strangely
sober. Until I
try to stand up,
then it feels like
someone has
stolen my legs.

They just won't
work, I'm all
over the place,
staggering and
stumbling, and
bouncing off the
walls.

It's really strange,
if I'm that pissed
then I really should
know about it.
It's  weird how
different drinks
produce different
effects, you would
expect all alcoholic
beverages to be
the same.

But no, my legs
will bear witness
to that.