JENNIFER

 

Jennifer wants the world to live by the rules she has provided.

Jennifer doesn’t like to be called Jenny.

Jennifer doesn’t want to hate me but she does even though she loves me, too.

Jennifer doesn’t understand The Beatles, The Stones, Bob Dylan. She doesn’t want to.

Jennifer wants the world to be good and doesn’t see that when I argue I give her her own words back to her.

Jennifer is so sad and so beautiful I could weep.

 

I imagine that she masturbates thinking about the good and bad things about me.

If Jennifer and I were children together we would be sitting in a tree and kissing.

We are not children and we have lived already so all we do is fight.

Jennifer inside herself is a child who has witnessed war and I am a lot like her.

 

Jennifer kisses ghosts. Jennifer embraces barbed wire.

Jennifer wraps her legs around fantasies and listens intently through the wall.

Jennifer gags on the thought of being conquered with tears in her eyes and likes it.

Jennifer’s eyes were meant to be admired.

Jennifer was meant to be used in the most loving way imaginable.

Jennifer’s lips were meant to be kissed.

Jennifer’s body is scarred with a life of decisions.

Jennifer’s heart is a sieve.

Jennifer doesn’t want to make decisions anymore.

 

Jennifer makes me feel upside down.

Jennifer makes me think things at night when I’m alone.

I want Jennifer and she wants me but

Neither of us can be had. It’s not that easy.  

I only want Jennifer to love me

 

But I also understand. 

A Real Story

She delivers mail
every day to the bar

The new day guy
asks her out

They click

Make plans to
move in together

Get married

They’ve narrowed
down honeymoon options
to two or three
She makes plans
to move her son,
from a previous
marriage, to a new school

Drives him to
the airport for a
pre-relationship, no cancel,
extreme vacation in
the mountains

Kisses him goodbye

Says she’ll see him
in a week

He meets the perfect
woman while rock climbing

Claims there is nothing
more romantic than
making love on a
mountain ridge after
a strenuous climb
as the sun goes down

Proposes to her
though there are already
clear signs she is
an absolute bitch
on wheels

The mail carrier picks
him up at the airport

When asked later why
he didn’t give her a
heads up about his new plans
he says, “She was my ride.”

Her world as she knew
knew it ends

His goes on as usual

Preface to an Ontological Cookbook

 

For me, the cooking life has been a long love affair, 

with moments both sublime and ridiculous. 

—Anthony Bourdain 

 

It may be that hunger and love

Are twins from the same Mother—

An eternal longing to lull our lack.

And the presence of an absence

Is the recurring attack of history.

To be struck by such fictions or facts

Is a recipe beyond all reverie & endurance:

As you step back to your private kitchen

Where no snack can bring assurance. 

 


It’s Inevitable

 

For now, the buzzards float

Counterclockwise 

In a sky of exceptional blue.

But the inevitable

Shall come to pass:

A carcass and a rendezvous. 



Take It All Off, Slowly

 

Some leaves are the color of lust,

Or speckled gold & burnt sienna.

The spectacle of Fall is a carnival:

Bold flashes among the branches

In this sun-freckled fiesta of autumn.

The aspens turn & then they shimmer,

As the leaves peel off like garments—

Flung at the feet of a stripper.

Loneliness is my ultimate friend:                                In my search for a companionship                      I have toured my heart in many places,              But I didn't find anyone                                          who understood me?                                                                                                                       After finding no one                                               I slouched beneath the azure sky of my Solitude,                                                              from where I found my truest friend - Miss. Loneliness.                                                                                                                                           Miss. loneliness perched me on the ground of philosophical enlightenment,                          and lectured me the ups and downs of those romantic- mercenaries in the battle of futile love.                                                                                 Miss. Loneliness gave me a key to open       the door of pluralistic-reality of the world, where love is ambushing the hearts of many with a romantic- mantra. 

Bullshittin’

Late at night, when confronted by
A gun-totin’ fool outside the bar,
You just know the gutless wonder
Demanding money is bullshittin’.
But then, Messieurs Smith & Wesson
In a shaky hand, might not, in fact, be
Bullshittin’.  So, bye bye wallet and
Bye bye my whole last two bucks.
Which, when my robber checks
The take, he laughs and gives it back.
“You need this more than me, dude.”
Out of the goodness of his evil heart,
He hands me a crisp new Jackson,
Then disappears into the darkness.
Truly a fine gentleman.  Perhaps, I’ll
Meet him later, in the slammer,
Since I got arrested for, sucker that
I am, trying to spend a crisp new
‘Counterfeit’ twenty dollar bill.

musk

 

we did it

with the window closed

and the little plug-in heater

going full whack.

afterwards we lay marinating

in our puddle.

my eyes boiled in their sweaty sockets.

the ceiling vibrated, purple.

everything looked purple

and hummed:

the walls,

her.

even the air was starting to bleed.

I couldn’t breathe

and I didn’t mind.

I was being choked

in the aftermath

and it felt like I was still cumming,

like I’d cum and choke

into eternity.

I do like our musk, she said

and did a theatrical sniff of the air,

her nose pointing up like a

cartoon character sniffing out a delicious pie.

we’re proper fucking potent together, us!

and lit a fag.

the smoke of her duty-free Marlborough Light 

baked us

in her humming purple box. 

I’ve been

being cooked alive

ever since. 

Day By Day

Day by day
I'm forgetting
more, and more
about you.

How you smelled,
how your lips felt.

I hate it,
but I can't stop
it happening.

Next I'll forget
your voice.

I hate it,
but I can't stop
it happening.

Day by day
you disappear
more and more.

I hate it,
but I can't stop
it happening.

God !
How I miss you ! 

 Slough

Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now, 
There isn't grass to graze a cow. 
Swarm over, Death!

John Betjeman 1937 First. verse

 

Moscow

Fall friendly bombs on dread Moscow

much more deserving than poor Slough.

Stand up, Putin; take a bow, 

Meet your fate, Death!

 

You must get your just deserts,

especially if it really hurts,

both you and your grim perverts.

Gasp your last breath!

 

Destroy the city and the thug

who sits at that table looking smug

as he sets out to pull the plug

on all mankind.

 

Don’t forget Lavrov whose droopy features

reveal the most cynical of creatures.

Oh, he’s a credit to his teachers:

Evil defined.

 

And smash Russia Today (not tomorrow)

And smash those who are spreading sorrow.

Let’s see them all light up like flambeaux.

Burn, baby, burn!

 

And don’t spare the oligarchs who add

to the profits of the repulsive Vlad.

They are greedy rather than mad.

Some never learn.

 

They can’t pretend they didn’t know

Vlad’s grand plan. It’s only the dough

that interests them, going with the flow.

Send them to Hell!

 

Each one’s been delighted with his lot,

spending millions on a superyacht

while leaving compatriots to rot.

Hear their death knell.

 

Putin kills civilians by the score

in this criminal act of war.

He exudes venom from every pore.

It’s payback time.

 

Fall friendly bombs on dread Moscow,

ensure it’s no longer fit for plough.

Let nothing thrive there now.

And spread quicklime.

these dirty thoughts
 
those long legs
look like they
need to be
wrapped around
my head a few
times
 
plus, she's here
because of an
injury, so maybe
she won't put up
much of a struggle
 
of course, i'm
kidding
 
all of these dirty
thoughts stay
trapped in
my mind
 
no lucky soul
has found the
key to unlock
these gifts
------------------------------------------------------
which way the buzzards are going
 
late winter,
early spring
 
the days where
you look to the
sky and see
which way
the buzzards
are going
 
death can be
a little jarring
when everything
is supposed to
be coming to
life
 
that happens
when you forget
the first rule
of life
 
it will end

On-Line Ads

I should very much like
These on-line ads for
Miraculous drugs and
Amazing techniques
Which all promise a
Rock hard erection to
Immediately cease.
That is, unless they
Come with a woman.