Nicole Taylor

Constant Commotion

At Jazz Station club

 

 

Singing to Mitchell singing

No, you can’t take that away from me,

the way you wear your hat,

the way you hold your tea.

 

Tapping feet to Kenny’s drum solo.

 

Watching Audie singing

Why not take all of me.

You took my heart.

 

Snacking on cheesy SunChips.

Studying Robert studying Nick on piano.

 

Watching Amy singing

I miss New Orleans?

I miss the one I cared for

more than I miss New Orleans.

 

Watching young Jesse bellowing on sax.

Sipping on local pinot noirs at a table with friends.

 

Listing a few Kenisms with Erin and Amy.

Put your hands together, you lazy Americans.

Ain’t no shame in my game.

That’s the way we roll, baby!

 

Rich, the happy drummer fills in Kenny on The Road Song.

 

Watching Anya singing

Summertime and the living is easy.

The fish jumping.

The cotton is high.

Your daddy’s rich.

Your mama’s good looking.

 

God bless the child

who’s got his own.

 

Go Eve.

Go Jesse.

 

Watching young Jesse bellowing on sax.

Sipping on local pinot noirs at a table with friends.

 

Put your hands together, you lazy Americans, announces Kenny.

 

Marty’s on guitar, filling in for Neal of Kenny’s Stone Cold Jazz band.

 

Some days we have a resident artist paint, friendly tap dancer,

a birthday potluck or with a problem guest on stage.

 

New trumpet player Tom follows and keeps in time.

 

Dancing to Kenny’s usual finale Knockout

Girl you are a knockout.

You got me in constant commotion.

 

Listening to introductions

Nick from Des Moines.

Pimpin’ Jack from Eugene.

 

Watching Eve in constant commotion.

I’ll be back for the rest, she says while carrying her flute

and equipment.

 

From January 2014

 

 

Evening Colors

Hot Mama’s Open Mic Night

 

Six guitar cases and one banjo case rest in the corner,

near the restrooms, beer specials and near the bar.

 

Katie plays originals on her blue guitar sweet folk songs and ballads

between squeaks from the speakers that hippie and Old Sal, our co host is

adjusting.

Old Rollin Joe plays his Horner Comet, his fat old harmonica and he plays

banjo from

songs, Forever Young and September Rose, from his CD’s, The Legend At

Last.

Gabe plays Rose’s blue guitar with friends, one violin and two banjos. The

blue butterfly.

Her young hands fly through this navy, midnight blue guitar.

The tall guy in center sings I’m Going Down under the Burlap Blues. I’m 

Going Down in 

the Burlap Blues.

 

Old Jimmy plays his Takamine, his shiny beige guitar with “Jack” on his

strap. He plays sad twangy old songs, So Old and Love Me Like You Did 

Yesterday.

 

Young Lex wears black hair and hat and plays a black guitar and sings

If I Die Young and

Don’t Let the Music Die.

 

Marilyn, Holly Hobbie, in her bright pink hair plays her “experimental noise”

from adjusting knobs on sound equipment, last week with her pink guitar.

Sal really enjoys this but others walk out, at least for a smoke.

Joe and Autumn play and leave, Going on Down to Alaska and I’m Going 

to Jackson.

Well, I’m going down to Jackson and I ain’t never coming back.

 

Sometimes he reads Beatnik poetry or his powerful political original poetry.

 

Two young waitresses keep busy, cleaning cup and counter before closing,

and trying not

to break more glasses while delivering more libations.

 

Two colorful creatures, one from Where The Wild Things Are, watch behind

the bar and I

watch the customers visit, laugh, sometimes too loud and not listening to

those behind

the tall mic.

November 11, 2011

 

 

 

 

Hot Folk Tunes at Hot Mama’s 

No Heavy Metal Allowed

 

Lex sang a bluesy Devil’s Ridge’s

If I die young. But she’s one of the youngest

here in this wings restaurant, bar. Then she

tells us a humorous lesbian joke.

She ends with Hallelujah every night.

Two barmaids clean the tables

under the television

in the corner by the front door,

the Padres and Giants

still plays early on Tuesday night

Open-mic at Hot Mama’s Wings.

Two diners sit across me

and under the Animal House prints and

the Oregon Ducks

prints. With banjo

in hands Sir Richard

sang sad song of ex-wives.

Aged hippie Nick sang classics,

Beatles and Clapton songs.

His friend and Sal sang

Daddy’s Little Pumpkin.

Before leaving I heard Ben from

Ohio sing his original song,

Humanity on his extended length,

illustrated leaf guitar.

 

 

Local Colors

 

The jazz band of six plays Thelonius Monk’s Blue Monk as cheerful Dona

greets many and requests donations for the new Jazz Station Club. Then a

young swearing drunk enters, asks for a sample of the red wine – an

Australian merlot or a South African syrah from the local Trader Joe’s.

These wines are offered only with a cash donation. The two people debate,

struggle and he grabs her collar while they walk out toward John Henry’s

and other clubs the state university students visit, or maybe even the city’s

many homeless. Dona’s friends Rich and Stephen follow after her. She

returns with a scarlet red angered face. Later she still appears very nervous

but sings Kissing the Bottle and Autumn Leaves with friends. I watch the

amber and umber leaves, the ochre and cadmium leaves fall and drift in

late autumn with heavy wind and rain, with a magenta setting sun.

Stephen’s paintings decorate he walls with teals and violets, with

Southwest symbols, faces and images. Cactus and classic pickups. Sue

plays piano keys to Between the Bars. A grinning Rich plays drums in back.

A young adult Kevin plays sax as his predecessor, African American Ben

Webster, watches in spirit and bathroom photograph. Today all faces here

are ivory or Caucasian, ruddy or white.

 

Matt Borczon

The secret lives of ghosts

in the

years since

the war

I have

learned

a lot

about the

secret lives

of ghosts

I can

distinguish

their voices

from rain

or the

tires squeals

that cover

their words

 

and I

can tell

who they

are by

where I

find them

in my

house

the children

are in

my daughter’s

room and

the detainees

and local

nationals are

always in

the kitchen

the ghost

soldiers

and Marines

are everywhere

and will

go anywhere

as long

I don’t ask

them to

leave

 

I have

learned to

see past

their dead

eyes their

wounds and

stumps their

pain and fear

medication

can’t make

them leave

they only

get thin

and quiet

enough to

make me

question if

they are

real and

this scares

me more

than they do

 

my therapist

says I

can make

them leave

any time

I want

since I

made them

only I

didn’t make them

the war

made them

the sand

made them

the fighting

bullet holes

and bombs

made them

the helicopters

and stretchers

bloody equipment

sleepless nights

body bags

and missed

calls home

made them

the constant

fear you

can’t do

enough to

save any

of them

made them

 

the same

way it

made me

 

whole nights sleep

After 3 nights

of my anxiety

growing

a sharp

bare tree

inside my

stomach

I finally slept

one whole

night without

remembered

dreams

but when I

woke up today

my voice was hoarse

my throat dry

as dust

or sand  and

my arm was bruised

from elbow

to wrist

 

after another night

back in the war.

 

Getting your hands dirty

a young nurse

took a long

long time

picking out

a towel to

wrap the

child’s corpse

and when we

got to the

isolation room

I could see

she didn’t want

to touch it

 

so I wrapped

the body and

gave it to

the parents

I changed

the sheet and

disinfected the

mattress all

the while I

was thinking

about a fall

day when I

found a cat

dead against

my fence

it had been

there a long

time and I

had to peel it

away from the

metal before

I could stuff

it into a

trash bag .

 

Cody Crossland

After Her, The Deluge

she was a beacon in starless night
black as death, the sky weeping,
tearing its flesh.

I was a cyclone.

rampaging vortex,

marauding across landscapes

of the fragile world.

the choice was hers alone,
to take me by the hand,
why she did,
I may never know.

long afternoon summer
found us tangled in sheets,
lips scavenging sweat for secret
yesses.

nights spent dancing
among electric cowboys,
while I fell like rain
over her charm.

she could not rope the wind
nor tame my wicked heart.
the sound of the shutting door
a thunderclap in my soul.

the levee groans against itself,
the reaping hour come round.
I sit in cigarette smoke nights,
stale poison rotting the glass,
muttering, “Play it again, Sam.”
to no one in particular.

Superman is Crying
when I see a leaf blow
in the wind,
I think of you
my friend.

tearing across eternal hunting grounds,
wild eyed and shuddering,
face bent forward
to what lay before you.

once we stood colossal
in plaything world,
walking through our myth
like two bit supermen

now you sleep
beneath the snakes,
sunday best suit,
cloaking your bones.
worms have had their fill.

as trees shed burdens
in windblown world
I watch this leaf
rush to meet you
at the banks of the river Styx.

tears won’t quit me now.

End of Night

Here I sit,
holy morning voyeur
in windblown West Texas world.

Barren,
mesquite choked pasture
harbor iron monstrosities,
rocking steady at twilight,
groaning,
as they suck life blood
from the belly of the Earth.

The sun crests the horizon,
darkness flees,
allowing dawn her moment
in virgin day.

It is the end of night,
the myth of the American night.
Azure waves roll
across pale sky,
swirls of purple and gold,
whisper,
“All time is borrowed.”

All about town,
men rise,
weary,
ready themselves
for the workaday world
of heat and sweat,
turning wrenches,
clanging metal.

Longing for 5 o’clock
smiles
of their women.
sweet sounds of laughing

children
Sips of ice cold beer
to salvage the day.

Night comes
like a thief.
the realization
that another selfsame day
draws near.

I stumble headlong,
wine stained mouth,
drunk
as a waltzing
pissant,
on the heels of revenant visions,
derelict specters,
that say,
“Go on boy,
go thou this way,
seek and you will find.”

But the bottles are bled dry now,
usless as paperweights,
when once they held
such promise.

The sun rises lazily in the east,
The great world continues to spin.
A lonesome wolf howls,
in mourning.

Steven Porter

“The Town of Anarchy Has a Single Working Light Bulb”
Right now, a man sits at his computer and tugs his
fossilized, skull-penetrating, immalleable clay cock.
There’s one light bulb left, illuminating clits
queefing in Korean. All other bulbs were
stolen sometime during a nocturnal carnival by
nympho-tourists capable of sneaking
sunlight in their electronic muffs.
The grandfather clock’s hands sting
like baby scorpion tales (the young man’s only
defense against these thieving, horny outsiders).
His balls rattle like calcium dice in a
skinny transvestite’s bony hand.
Near-sighted gods are watching
him with their prescription glasses
and high-powered binoculars: (Everyone
is a pervert when temptation tickles you
with a silk feather). After ejaculation, he
lifts up his pants and smiles at passing
dragonflies, rubbing their crunchy cleavage.
“To Loathe and Love Las Vegas”
It’s true Mr. Thompson, this is where the American Dream ends.
Many of friends have had their dreams squashed in New York,
Boston, Chicago and ended up back here. The bats weren’t in your
head, sir, I saw them too, but in Vegas we call them floor bosses.
Scorpions, snakes, and coyotes have all found their way to
Fremont Street. They pinch, bite and ensnare the American
Flag’s thinning cloth and drag it along bare, naked tits and asses,
getting fresh cum all over it. I’ve got an acid craze and I can’t get
enough of it! Cars swing by with more gyrating pussy than one
can handle. Like Jello Biafra said, “Gonna have me some money
if it costs me my very last dime.” Almost every bar and casino
doubles as a strip club; girls dancing in cages, their breasts busting
out of their Steam Punk outfits. It’s no wonder my cock is in a constant
state of attention? Half the men walk around with their hands in their
pockets (They’re most likely masturbating). There are orgies on every corner:
fingers in asses, cunts and urethras, mouths sucking cocks and clits,
lapping up pubic hair, glitter, whiskey, vodka and every other kind of
alcohol vomited up by fatass, caustic cowboys, Asian Elvis impersonators,
tourists with deep pockets, holes in pockets, and no pockets.
Neon Goddesses spread their legs and lick their lips to distract
you long enough for a vagrant midget to pick your pocket.
Vegas’ history is homeless and abandoned on the town’s
outskirts, not far from homes that couldn’t be gentrified.
Cacti watch their brothers and sisters uprooted, stuffed
and placed in “The World’s Largest Gift Shop” with price tags.
Slot junkies can get their fix at grocery stores so they can
spend their baby’s milk and food money on location.
The Strip isn’t any fun when the sun boils early morning-hookers
and you have to worry about stepping in bubbling jizz and puke piles.
Maybe we can hit up the Peppermill and find a hungover lawyer
slumped over his ashy scrambled eggs? I’m sure he’s useful for
something other than getting schizophrenic drunks out of county jail.
Mr. Thompson, why don’t you come back and see us sometime?
Drive Carefully and don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of ether,
flyswatters to keep those fucking bats away, call girls on
speed dial and an extra American Flag you can use as a blanket.
“Searching for Another Handout”
Hope-famished pets left out in a rain’s aftermath
in a season of dry apricots
brawl on the railroad tracks with dry, rough paws
searching for prey drowned out by Mosaic floods.
Cats head to the rail yards to rest in the warmth of bourbon-puddles.
Masterless dogs wake with dry bone hangovers;
a human passerby offers an empty, nail-bitten hand
to the lanky, collar-strapped animal.
It struggles to rise, knots in its hair, to search for another handout
someplace where the sun delays its rise.

Dr. Randall K. Rogers

Euthanasia

 

 

I come from a family

that doesn’t mind

dying.

We are not tethered

too tightly to this

world.

Upon diagnosis of

Cancer or what have

you we grin.

“You mean I’m gonna

get to die?”

We are above fighting

for life,

unless it’s a human,

fish, or animal opponent.

Or a condition able to

be cured by modern

medicine.

We are okay with

throwing in the towel,

pre-emptoryly

killing ourselves at

seventy-five,

or heading to Canada,

Oregon,

Mexico, or Holland

for a very short visit.

 

 

 

To All the Disabled in Any Way (and for the able-bodied too)

 

 

From 1881 to 1889

Vincent Van Gogh painted

some 900 paintings

often while looking out

the window of a

mental institute

painting what he saw.

And nothing could stop him.

Be like Vincent.

 

Alann De Vuyst

 inca kola

 

IT IS INSANE

 

It’s insane the way things go
and it does not matter
if it’s not getting any better
I had you by my side
it was a wild ride
yet you were brain food too

I twisted your arm and you died
If I said I loved you I would have lied

Forgive me the things I felt towards you
the hormones were to blame
and I went insane

Consumed by time
bitterness is like old wine
turned into vinegar

The young wine is nectar from hot rods
that see the light for the first time
they want to grow in strength
but not in wisdom

 

 

 

SEEKING ASYLUM

 

I am going mad
Maybe

I am mad
or a fool
or self deluding?
I am mad
I could take
a gun and kill
the bastard

 

Who?
The bastard
I could,
him,
him and me

There must be a better way
a simpler way
there is always a solution

for every problem,
one said so:
“I like to think there is a solution for every problem.”
How?
Is it true that if IT
does not kill you
IT makes you stronger?
How?

I am mad

and mad for

getting mad

I am cross
I am fuming

and
hit my head against
the wall
There is always a wall,
the invisible wall,

built for me
by the others

and the one I built
around myself

 

Peace be upon you
said the prophet
yet it brings violence
and people kill
for those they deem
PROPHETS

What if I kill the prophet
What if he kills me first?

What if

his followers
kill me

for him?

I am mad beyond words

for this world?

Am I?

 

 

GINGER B(ED)DING

 

Ginger headed
for each finger
a chick

singing
but no he is not
a prick

red flaming passion
razor-sharp rap
for he got the knack
of it

screeching
screaming
females

fans

paranoid
jealous
envious
males;

fans

up to a point
holding their
girlfriends
in a tighter grip

Pop star’s ego

equals
their vertigo

on the ladder

of popularity
signatures
sales
stardom

embrace it
the sky is the limit
but the fall so much the deeper

We are all made of
stardust

All shooting stars

one day

end up as stardust

 

 

 

TEARS FROM AFAR

 

 

I cry the tears of my heart
having repressed the pain
I need cuddles
sigh
words of sweetness
I die of grief
Where from come
these streams
of tears,
saline and dear?

I am adding some more.
Why so many questions
and no answers?
I added yet some more;
they get to me from the bottom
of my guts.

Mother how has life treated
you?
When will your journey of suffering end?
Have you not seen it all before?
We are missing each other
Separated by time and space

But I can hear you
strong as an earthquake
we are missing each other
but we are connected
like Siamese twins
good night, mum

 

Matt Borczon

Hold on       for Dana

 

hold me

and squeeze

the ash

out of

my heart

the sand

from inside

my skin

lean in

and sing

into my

ear until

the ghosts

leave

 

run your

cool hands

over my

118 degree

nightmares

and if

I start

to cry

all the

tears I

have will

you build

a boat

out of

your memories

of our

life before

the war

 

A Special Message from the Editors

 

The “Red Cloud” shirt.

Red Cloud.jpg

Now, unlimited time only, get ’em while they’re hot. The one and only seriously “un-psuedo”, cantankerous, politically certain shirt. The first shirt, the trend busting rustic beatnik boy smoking a hand-roll in the Beatnik Cowboy T-shirt, gave birth to a Native brother. Since that first Cowboy chapped his hide at the Beatnik Cowboy jam-bore brother Red Cloud has joined the wagon train of sweet lovin’ cowboys!!! Some real “rough riders” plying “rough trade”. Dominatrix cowboys, timid “Brokeback” lonely ranch hands, slobbering greedy butt-cracks, all are welcome at the Gay Cowboy Olympics. Because every gay Beatnik Cowboy, straight or otherwise, holds no candle to the hermaphrodite scrotum.

 

We here at the Beating Off Cowboy, in order to preserve the most perfect Cowboy, do declare from now on everything is its exact opposite, or as near to it as we can be. And we take this bipolar opposite, or as close as we can come to it, to be a new, inverted truth, we then act incorrectly upon. Again, as close to acting on this new truth as we can approximately come in choosing actions to give our inverted reality “real truth” view, we have noticed our idea of real approximate truth is in line with our praxis. That is to say our inversion and its theorized uncovering of “ultimate truth” appears correct. The crux of the biscuit may be; truth is its own polar opposite. And employing our opposite truth paradigm we will begin/began to see, with repeated use of our formulae, that the “unreal” is far more “real”, than the real. This is to insinuate good plays out horrible given passion, and agony, to be Frank James with you, creates better feelings in people than satisfaction or euphoria, ever could!

 

So remember to forget and mentally replace, and carry on just the same. And woebegone, behold the clear waters of the truth of trans-valuation. Don’t we all know persons state or signify in way of opinion or ideas held, all, or most goodly all, the opposite of what they state?

 

No matter, what I am talking about here is the new Shirt. It is mesmerizing, tantalizing, epic in its fantastitude. Quite simply, this article of clothing will definitely complete your look. So get ’em fast, lest anyone mistake you for a ‘heterosexual” of incomplete resolution. Our Native model, Mr. Red Cloud, is a person of some renown and much distinction. In Red Cloud’s War 1866-1868 the Oglala and other Teton Sioux bands/tribes successfully warred with the US military. Following two years of armed conflict a peace between the US Government and Native forces was concluded at Fort Laramie in Wyoming Territory in 1868. It is this treaty and Indian rights to land in the Great Sioux Reservation (including the Black Hills) it conferred that continues to be contested. Because of the US Government’s violation of these treaty rights (by subsequent taking of Indian lands), US Government cash payments to Sioux tribes are awarded.

 

Simply put, because as Chief in 1866-68 he chose to fight and won, suing at the time for a favorable peace, Red Cloud is the Man. Furthermore, because also, later in the 1870s, he choose not to fight and move to the reservation he too is the Man. For by deciding thus in consultation with his people, Red Cloud saved himself and his people from continued death and destruction at the hands of the US military. For when faced with the hopeless prospect of continued armed resistance, he is very much the Wise Man for deciding continued violence is futile, and will only result in extermination. For unlike Crazy Horse, Sitting Bull and the other non-treaty “hostile” Indians, Red Cloud recognized the inevitable defeat of the Indian cause and peaceably moved his people into Reservation winter camps along the west bank of the Missouri river.. Other Natives continued to resist and despite the hostile coalition’s 1876 victory over US forces under General George Armstrong Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn, both Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull surrendered and were killed by US forces soon after. In the end, remnants of these hostile bands were murdered in mass by US troops at the 1890 Wounded Knee, South Dakota, where some two hundred Indian men, women, and children under chief Big Foot were slaughtered by US soldiers as they attempted to surrender.

 

So here’s to Red Cloud, most intelligent hero Chief of the Oglala Teton Sioux! Honorary Beatnik Indian and role model for all.

 

Now shirts come in sizes s, M, and Large up to 5XL and children’s sizes from infant by year up to adult size small. Every child should be dressed in Beatnik Cowboy art-historical T-shirts. Can you afford to allow your child to grow up without one?

 

$25 dollars per shirt. Make checks out to Beatnik Cowboy and send to Randall Rogers, 3410 Corral Drive, Apartment 208, Rapid City, South Dakota, 57702, USA. Thank you. Credit card purchases also available, call 1-605-593-2537 to place your order.

 

We must all pray to God for assistance in helping us become Atheists.

 

Chris Butler

Life’s Sentence

 

Which punctuation

will mark

the end

of our

lives’ sentence?

 

A period.

An exclamation point!

A question mark?

 

Until then,

we’ll settle for

an endless

ellipsis…

 

 

Previously published by “The Weekenders Magazine” and featured in the Scars Publications chapbook Poems of Pain: BUMMER

 

 

 

 

Stephen Jarrell Williams

Save Our City

 

 

A cloud-cover this morning

After last night’s stars pinpointing the sky

Vivid in their distance and majesty

 

Sirens echoing all around us

An easy-to-hear pattern of marching boots

Coming closer

 

Windowpanes beginning to vibrate

Our sanctuary becoming as the rest of the world

Torturous in the waiting

 

Many choose to ignore the sleeping giant

His yawn and grimacing rising from the tomb of our fathers

For the settling of scores

 

Smoke seeping under our doors

Frantically gathering wet rags

Placing them over our mouths and noses to breathe

 

Someone screaming

Buildings shaking

All stunned before the grand falling

 

Running out into the streets

Where they wait

Gathering us up into army trucks

 

The dark green of metal and canvas

Long lines snaking out to detention camps

For our sins

 

Another world of the old world ways

The giant gnashing his teeth

To the altar of our doom.

 

 

 

 

The Pace of the World

 

 

The pace

of the world

now

 

Is too great

and too scatter-brained

to try to sort

or keep up with

 

Unless

we all do a little

to help

 

And maybe

we’ll slow it down

enough

 

That we all don’t die

a miserable death.

 

 

 

 

Pampered

 

 

The good in us

Dwindling

Ebbing away

Soon out of our reach

 

We could have stopped it

Years ago when we knew how

 

Now our minds

Diseased

Having too much

Sharing not enough

 

The butchers coming

Sharpening their blades

 

Many of us will flee

Many will fight

Too fat to win

Too pampered to last.